Theo Crawford (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sanctus_dei) wrote2024-04-24 12:23 pm
sanctus_dei) wrote2024-04-24 12:23 pm
Entry tags:
CRAU info - The Return Journey
The Peregrine’s journey came to an end at a very precarious time in Theo’s life. For six months, he fought against the wardens tasked with helping him at almost every step of the way. Already a paranoid and untrusting person, he wasn’t about to let a bunch of strangers tell him he had to be fixed. Theo was convinced he had deserved his death, and maybe that was true. He definitely had a self-destructive streak, and being resurrected from the dead and dropped off in prison wasn’t exactly turning those feelings around immediately. However, Theo never even would have been picked for rehabilitation if it wasn’t possible. Deep down, he was sorry about what he did. He knew it was wrong, and went insanely overboard, but him reaching that conclusion wasn’t even going to be the hardest part; it would be convincing him that he was deserving of care, time and love after everything he did. It was only at the very end did he finally reach out to one of the wardens for help, only to have all the pain and progress he made pulled out from under him.
There was generally an even ratio of wardens to prisoners, but Theo had been bumped around from month to month to new ones, no warden willing to take Theo up full time until right before the end. That person, of all people in the universe (and if you could call him a “person”), was Lucifer. Satan himself pledged to be Theo’s warden, and Theo finally accepted. Assigned as his temporary warden for one month, Lucifer subjected Theo to daily talk therapy sessions, which went about as well as you could imagine. At one point towards the end of that first month, Theo’s argumentativeness and self-pity even drove Lucifer to lose his patience and yell at Theo, furious. The two didn’t speak for a bit until Lucifer apologized. Theo had been wary of him to start, but was afraid of him after that. Nothing like being yelled at Satan to put the fear of God in you. Theo hadn’t been convinced Lucifer was who he had claimed to be at first, but being born and raised Catholic made the feeling hard to shake. He might have said out loud that he wasn’t convinced Lucifer was who he said he was, but deep down he believed it.
Theo didn’t get along with any of the other prisoners at all, save for one or two. Without magic to defend himself, he was a cornered animal, lashing out at anything that came too close. The other prisoners were all people as desperate and terrible as he was, so it was no wonder things were tense. He’d gotten into more than one fight that he always lost. He’d been brought into the ship in practically the same condition he was in right before he died; that is, wasting away from malnourishment, alcoholism and the toll casting spells took on him. He wouldn’t have lasted more than a few weeks if he hadn’t been killed first. Aboard the Peregrine, though, he was given a steady diet and exercise to get his health back in order. He is and always will be a long way from being at all in any good shape, but he managed to put on a few pounds and get some color back in his skin. He might even weigh a hardy 115 pounds now!
It should be noted that while Theo didn’t trust the wardens and was hostile towards them, for the most part they were very helpful and (mostly) patient with him. Theo didn’t want to trust them out of fear, his guilty conscience, and used the excuse that they were only in this for getting whatever it was they were being paid to deal with him, and that they didn’t actually care. Some managed to get through to him, much more than any of his fellow inmates did. Lucifer recognized his guilt and pain; Claire gave him a stern but caring motherly presence his life lacked; William was a patient listener but took no shit; Bucky, who let Theo vent his frustrations on him and treated him as an equal, for better or worse; and Viktor, a kindred spirit in his love of magic and its possibilities. Sure, they were getting something out of the deal, but they were still people capable of care and sympathy. Theo found himself liking them more than he would ever admit. Much more than his fellow prisoners, for sure.
The moment things really went to hell was due to Theo’s completely botched escape attempt. Prisoners had done one before and, of course, had been thwarted, getting them tossed in solitary for a week. Theo was desperate to get out as well, the idea that he could ever be put in solitary for some infraction was one of the most unsettling things he could think of. As much as he likes to act like he’s a cool lone wolf type, Theo needed people around, and being locked up there would have been too much. Even if the other attempt failed, Theo was convinced it could be done if the prisoners stuck together. During a disembarking venture, they could ambush the wardens, using a plant he found while working in the greenhouse that acted as a sedative. All one had to do was get skin contact with it, and the oil caused a person to fall asleep within a few minutes. Theo personally approached every inmate with the plan, and cultivated the plant so enough clippings could be made and distributed. Much to his surprise, most prisoners turned him down, but said they wouldn’t get in his way if he wanted to dose his own warden and make a break for it. All but one, anyway, who ratted Theo out for his own gain. Never change, Rhys Strongfork. Theo’s plan on the day of the trip went pear-shaped immediately. Theo had to dose his warden at the time, Viktor, nearly killing the already frail man instead of knocking him out. He was found out quickly by Bucky and Lucifer, who he had to poison as well, but it didn’t work so well on the supersolider and the goddamn Devil. Theo was caught, thrown in solitary, and completely broke down.
At that point, he had lost all will to fight or live. He saw no way out of the Peregrine, out of this horrible program. Theo had fully convinced himself he was beyond redemption from the day he woke up on the ship, and that certainly hadn’t changed now. However, this was the best time to get him to comply. If the only way he could ever get out of here was willing to work with the wardens, who had proved time and again they actually wanted him to succeed, then that was fine. After a week in solitary alone (save for a few minutes of a visit from Claire, and Theo’s only prisoner friend, Jason Todd), Lucifer came to see him, and convinced him to work with him as a permanent pairing.
And then it ended. The Peregrine was shut down due to its multiple problems and failures, and the prisoners and wardens were to be transferred to other ships. During the shuffle at a waystation between the move, Theo takes off, refusing to continue to be a prisoner. He runs for his life, not knowing where he’s going to go. But it doesn’t matter, because in his panicked state, he passes out, and wakes up on an entirely different kind of ship. The Theo waking up on the Serena Eterna will be a different one that woke up on the Peregrine. But it’ll remain to be seen just how he will decide to proceed from here - whether he might actively continue to try and be better, or just fall back into old, bad habits.
There was generally an even ratio of wardens to prisoners, but Theo had been bumped around from month to month to new ones, no warden willing to take Theo up full time until right before the end. That person, of all people in the universe (and if you could call him a “person”), was Lucifer. Satan himself pledged to be Theo’s warden, and Theo finally accepted. Assigned as his temporary warden for one month, Lucifer subjected Theo to daily talk therapy sessions, which went about as well as you could imagine. At one point towards the end of that first month, Theo’s argumentativeness and self-pity even drove Lucifer to lose his patience and yell at Theo, furious. The two didn’t speak for a bit until Lucifer apologized. Theo had been wary of him to start, but was afraid of him after that. Nothing like being yelled at Satan to put the fear of God in you. Theo hadn’t been convinced Lucifer was who he had claimed to be at first, but being born and raised Catholic made the feeling hard to shake. He might have said out loud that he wasn’t convinced Lucifer was who he said he was, but deep down he believed it.
Theo didn’t get along with any of the other prisoners at all, save for one or two. Without magic to defend himself, he was a cornered animal, lashing out at anything that came too close. The other prisoners were all people as desperate and terrible as he was, so it was no wonder things were tense. He’d gotten into more than one fight that he always lost. He’d been brought into the ship in practically the same condition he was in right before he died; that is, wasting away from malnourishment, alcoholism and the toll casting spells took on him. He wouldn’t have lasted more than a few weeks if he hadn’t been killed first. Aboard the Peregrine, though, he was given a steady diet and exercise to get his health back in order. He is and always will be a long way from being at all in any good shape, but he managed to put on a few pounds and get some color back in his skin. He might even weigh a hardy 115 pounds now!
It should be noted that while Theo didn’t trust the wardens and was hostile towards them, for the most part they were very helpful and (mostly) patient with him. Theo didn’t want to trust them out of fear, his guilty conscience, and used the excuse that they were only in this for getting whatever it was they were being paid to deal with him, and that they didn’t actually care. Some managed to get through to him, much more than any of his fellow inmates did. Lucifer recognized his guilt and pain; Claire gave him a stern but caring motherly presence his life lacked; William was a patient listener but took no shit; Bucky, who let Theo vent his frustrations on him and treated him as an equal, for better or worse; and Viktor, a kindred spirit in his love of magic and its possibilities. Sure, they were getting something out of the deal, but they were still people capable of care and sympathy. Theo found himself liking them more than he would ever admit. Much more than his fellow prisoners, for sure.
The moment things really went to hell was due to Theo’s completely botched escape attempt. Prisoners had done one before and, of course, had been thwarted, getting them tossed in solitary for a week. Theo was desperate to get out as well, the idea that he could ever be put in solitary for some infraction was one of the most unsettling things he could think of. As much as he likes to act like he’s a cool lone wolf type, Theo needed people around, and being locked up there would have been too much. Even if the other attempt failed, Theo was convinced it could be done if the prisoners stuck together. During a disembarking venture, they could ambush the wardens, using a plant he found while working in the greenhouse that acted as a sedative. All one had to do was get skin contact with it, and the oil caused a person to fall asleep within a few minutes. Theo personally approached every inmate with the plan, and cultivated the plant so enough clippings could be made and distributed. Much to his surprise, most prisoners turned him down, but said they wouldn’t get in his way if he wanted to dose his own warden and make a break for it. All but one, anyway, who ratted Theo out for his own gain. Never change, Rhys Strongfork. Theo’s plan on the day of the trip went pear-shaped immediately. Theo had to dose his warden at the time, Viktor, nearly killing the already frail man instead of knocking him out. He was found out quickly by Bucky and Lucifer, who he had to poison as well, but it didn’t work so well on the supersolider and the goddamn Devil. Theo was caught, thrown in solitary, and completely broke down.
At that point, he had lost all will to fight or live. He saw no way out of the Peregrine, out of this horrible program. Theo had fully convinced himself he was beyond redemption from the day he woke up on the ship, and that certainly hadn’t changed now. However, this was the best time to get him to comply. If the only way he could ever get out of here was willing to work with the wardens, who had proved time and again they actually wanted him to succeed, then that was fine. After a week in solitary alone (save for a few minutes of a visit from Claire, and Theo’s only prisoner friend, Jason Todd), Lucifer came to see him, and convinced him to work with him as a permanent pairing.
And then it ended. The Peregrine was shut down due to its multiple problems and failures, and the prisoners and wardens were to be transferred to other ships. During the shuffle at a waystation between the move, Theo takes off, refusing to continue to be a prisoner. He runs for his life, not knowing where he’s going to go. But it doesn’t matter, because in his panicked state, he passes out, and wakes up on an entirely different kind of ship. The Theo waking up on the Serena Eterna will be a different one that woke up on the Peregrine. But it’ll remain to be seen just how he will decide to proceed from here - whether he might actively continue to try and be better, or just fall back into old, bad habits.