5th Resurrection - Joke's on You

[My, my. That's a large delivery sent to 337 Brady Lane! Several small, heavy crates are dropped off sometime early in the morning for one Mr. Theodore Crawford.

Theo comes out to look at them, frowning, cigarette in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.]

What the shit is this. KAY!? Who the HELL would send us stuff in the mail?

[Sure, he's paranoid, but he's also morbidly curious. He pops the lid on one of them to take a look. His eyes grow wide, and - miracle of miracles, Mayfield - he smiles. He grins ecstatically, holding up old, worn books. He laughs. They were the one he worked so hard to steal get, only a few months before he was brought to Mayfield. Several dozen rare spell books.] Unbe-fuckin-lievable!

[He flips one open frantically. He finds the easiest, stupidest spell he can find, one that doesn't require any components. Something even he could handle. Holding up the book, he recites something in Latin, and gestures with his free hand.

Nothing. Grr. He tries again. Zip. GRR. One more time. Zilch! He throws the book down angrily and storms back inside, grabbing the phone.

Call to everyone. Yep, everyone. He speaks quickly, almost growling. He is LIVID.]

Is this someone's idea of a JOKE?!! To send me all these books like this?! Don't you know that these are FUCKING USELESS IF I STILL CAN'T CAST?! Real goddamn funny, Mayfield! Don't think I won't figure out a way to use them. Just you fucking wait.

[The phone is slammed down.]