5th Resurrection - Joke's on You

[sanctus_dei]

[My, my. That's a large delivery sent to 337 Brady Lane! Several small, heavy crates are dropped off sometime early in the morning for one Mr. Theodore Crawford.

Theo comes out to look at them, frowning, cigarette in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.]

What the shit is this. KAY!? Who the HELL would send us stuff in the mail?

[Sure, he's paranoid, but he's also morbidly curious. He pops the lid on one of them to take a look. His eyes grow wide, and - miracle of miracles, Mayfield - he smiles. He grins ecstatically, holding up old, worn books. He laughs. They were the one he worked so hard to steal get, only a few months before he was brought to Mayfield. Several dozen rare spell books.] Unbe-fuckin-lievable!

[He flips one open frantically. He finds the easiest, stupidest spell he can find, one that doesn't require any components. Something even he could handle. Holding up the book, he recites something in Latin, and gestures with his free hand.

Nothing. Grr. He tries again. Zip. GRR. One more time. Zilch! He throws the book down angrily and storms back inside, grabbing the phone.

Call to everyone. Yep, everyone. He speaks quickly, almost growling. He is LIVID.]

Is this someone's idea of a JOKE?!! To send me all these books like this?! Don't you know that these are FUCKING USELESS IF I STILL CAN'T CAST?! Real goddamn funny, Mayfield! Don't think I won't figure out a way to use them. Just you fucking wait.

[The phone is slammed down.]

Comments

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

...What are you gonna do when you get it back? What kind of magic is it, anyway?

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

[Griiiiiiiiin.] Necromancy.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yeah right. This collection is top notch. All hand-selected from the vast collection of the Lumen Conscientia's premier branch. Only the best for those pretentious assholes, trust me.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

Whoa! Like, zombies and stuff?

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Hrm. Really. So now what do you do? Don't tell me you actually made an immortality elixir.

[followyouthere.livejournal.com]

Don't recognize the name, so not important!

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Exactly like zombies and stuff.

[katto-katto.livejournal.com]

Not quite.

Does your world have vampires?

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

But nobody stays dead here...

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

……

I'm not concerned. As far as I know from personal experience already, they stay dead long enough.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

It has a lot of things but that's not one of them. Just legends. Don't tell me, that's what you are?

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

...I'm not sure whether I should be impressed or terrified.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

…hm, well, you're better off without those elitist pricks in your world. But trust me on this. They're high quality.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

[That grin gets bigger. Puts you in mind of a shark.]

That, darling daughter, is entirely up to you.

[teacup-parry.livejournal.com]

Oh? Just what kind of power do you normally wield?

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

[Looking very uneasy now.]

"Just... don't do it to me if I die, okay?"

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

You don't make a habit out of dying here, do you?

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Necromancy.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

I try not to.

[teacup-parry.livejournal.com]

Interesting... I knew a necromancer. He was quite powerful, too.

[followyouthere.livejournal.com]

We've got enough of our own, so.

[And curiosity wins.]

How important are these books?

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Well then, how about a quick history lesson. Where I come from, joining guilds are about the way to learn magic properly. The Lumen Conscientia are the most powerful of all of these, with branches all over the world. They've existed for several hundred years. However, they're a bunch of elitist bastards, and unless you're lucky enough for nepotism or are ridiculously wealthy, forget it. Just being able to cast isn't good enough for them. This particular collection of books was stolen from the LC around the year 1900 by the infamous Edward Grayson. And now they are mine, and they've taught me FAR more than that jackass alchemist ever could. They were wasted on him.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Well, now you know two of them. {You can almost hear the grin on that one.]

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Probably best you keep it that way.

[Filtered]

[teacup-parry.livejournal.com]

That's not quite true at the moment thanks to Mayfield, hm?

Considering that, in most worlds, the general populous tends to dislike necromancers... I have to wonder why you'd freely admit to your specialty, especially when you currently don't even have the means to use it. Or do you happen to come from one where Necromancy is acceptable by the public?